| Larry Stansbury, Annie O'Sullivan |
Why did the cranberry blush?
It saw the turkey dressing.
What do you need to make Thanksgiving s’mores?
Pil-grahams.
What did the Thanksgiving turkey say to the Christmas ham?
What’s blue and covered in feathers?
A turkey holding its breath.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Norma Lee.
What did the ocean say when it saw the Mayflower crossing?
Nothing. It just waved.
Did you hear about the turkey that plays baseball?
He covers first baste.
If Pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?
What did the pilgrim wear to dinner?
A (har)vest.
What’s a pilgrim’s favorite dance?
The turkey trot.
Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
Because they wear their buckles on their hats!
What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Did you hear the one about the rude turkey?
It was jerk-y.
What did Dad say when he was asked to say grace?
Where did the Pilgrims stand after landing on Plymouth Rock?
On their feet.
What do you call rain on Turkey Day?
Fowl weather.
Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?
Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
Why was the turkey asked to join a band?
He could bring his own drumsticks.
When are turkeys the most grateful?
The day after Thanksgiving.
Larry Stansbury is a writer whose work has appeared in POPSUGAR, Sports Illustrated, Her Campus, Distractify and more. He covers a wide range of topics, including entertainment, lifestyle and sports. Larry graduated with a B.A. in writing and rhetoric from Syracuse University in 2018. When he’s not writing, he is either working out, eating carbs or dancing to the next Little Mix song.
As a member of the Special Projects Team, Annie works with the GH Tested program writing up product reviews and roundups and helps plan and run annual expos and events like the GH Parenting Summit, Xmas in July Expo, Cleaning Summit, Winter Essentials Expo, and more. When she’s not working, she can be found running, listening to true crime podcasts, designing graphic collages, or sipping on a margarita.
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